did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
