my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Randomize
