Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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