Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
19 Of The Most Epic “I Quit’ Stories Ever
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice