You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
