Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
