are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
