the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
