Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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