Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
