I want to make a zoo with you.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
