I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
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