Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
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