My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
