Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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