Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
We left the knife in your bed.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
