So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
