i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
