WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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