then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
