You don't have asthma, your pregnant
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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