Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
