Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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