Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
They are going to name an STD after you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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