worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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