He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
