some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Randomize
