Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
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