apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Your topless pictures make me question reality
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Randomize
