I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
