All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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