No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
I think my fart just growled at me.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
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