I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
