nut hugger
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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