I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
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