did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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