you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
