1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
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