I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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