You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Need sex. Gaining weight.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
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