We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
