I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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