drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
