Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
he puts the penis in happiness.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
