We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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