you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize
