God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
