i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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