Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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