Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Randomize
