I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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