I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
