i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
This toilet bowl is my home.
Randomize
