just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
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