Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
