4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
