I feel great
I just peed on a car
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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