I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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