He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Randomize
