this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Randomize
