she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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