When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Randomize
