flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
