idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
