Define "chronic" masturbator.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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